Cunt tits and decoy tits

-
I exercise on the beach instead of in a gym these days. One day I walk over to this fiiiine brown skin hourglass in the type of two-piece bikini you only see in the window displays down here (sorry, but Mexican chicks tend to be on the sloppy chunky side). This tourist, though, had hips and high titties. So I complimented her on her bathing suit and...she just stared at me...like I was taking up her breathing space. "Oh," I said, "don't worry I'm not hitting on you. You're not my type. I prefer women with big titties. But I do believe in giving a compliment where it's due...and that is a nice bathing suit. Ciao."

What.A.Cunt.

The following day I'm sitting on the sand after a swim when a leggy, busty thing strolls past in a floppy sun hat---and keeps making eye-contact. I look behind me. Me? I'm wondering. Her clevage could be spotted from three blocks away! So I puff up the chest and trot after her. She was tall so that as we stood toe-to-toe my head - glory be! - came to the titties. As I looked up to make eye contact a red flag went off: THIS WAS NO WOMAN. Fuck me. Fuck me. And the hands were rather big, too. 

What.A.Phony cunt wannabe.

Arrggh!