More phone sex losers

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So I get this ring (at night) and on the other line is a bloody English accent. Okay.... This "Englishman", like the brotha man from the earlier post, said he tried to reach me in Mexico. Funny, when my black ass was in Mexico nobody tried to reach me; now that I'm long gone every Tommy, Dicky and Harry suddenly knows about Mexico. But I digress.

Do I know you? I ask, wondering 1) why is he acting so 'familiar' and 2) how has he my number? 

English Accent claims we met during a shoot at Tim's. (Tim Tales???) For one thing, I only met one bloke while in Berlin and, for another, the shoots for Timtales.com were always a closed affair. And for another thing, my current number didn't even exist then. BUT the caller ID shows the number is from abroad so...I cut this prank/suspicious call short and tell English Accent who wants to know my travel itinerary to send me an email.

"But what's your email?" He asks.
"It's the one on the website."
"I didn't go to a website," he says.

Time for the zinger! 

"Where you found  this number," I say, "is where you'll find my email address. This number is only two weeks old so if you have it you must have got it from a website (profile) because I haven't done a shoot between then and now," adding, "I have no plans to visit London so why don't you just call me when you're here."
"But America is a big country. Where? I'll be in L.A....," he claims.

In this business I answer to no one. I don't have a boss.

Why do people always say that?! America is not that big of a country. We're the world's superpower, yes, but we're not all that big of a landmass. So I say:


"Well in this business I answer to no one so...maybe I'll be in L.A. and maybe I won't. I don't have a boss. Anyway, America is not so big you can't buy a ticket [for me]. Right? Okay then. Good. Thank you. Ciao, ciao."

If English Accent is a bona fide client, then I'm the king of Spain.

Phone sex losers.