Tonight's gig was a bomb

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Tonight's gig was a bomb. As in it sucked. When I finally made it to the place - I got lost and was #@%! late - it was a typical, tiny pub filled with typical pub dwellers: old, over-the-hill blokes who reek of cigarettes and stupidity.
It was a lady's birthday party but the only thing that outnumbered the old dudes were the damn iphone camcorders thrust at arm's length. 

Having everybody hide - and 'hide' is the bon mot - behind video cameras at a strip show is like having a dinner party with guests who phone one another to converse. 

The birthday girl was uncomfortable, the old dudes drunk and creepy, space too tiny, and the bar was playing FOLK MUSIC. Who in the fuck has a birthday party with fucking folk music?! On top of that all the other women were wallflowers with camera phones who literally cringed and ran every time I approached. Absolutely no sports in the lot. Ugly bitches. (At last night's gig they were all over me and laughing and clapping along!!)


I was paid to do a full monty. And I did -- very quickly and briefly. "Come on,  let's see more, let's see more!" I ignored their asses with a smile and a bow. This ain't a centerfold photo shoot. I like swinging the full monty...but not for boring camera heads. Surprisingly (or maybe not) only three ladies wanted to take a picture WITH ME afterwards. Go figure.