I'm not an escort because I'm not escorting. I am not escorting because there's nothing in it for me.
There was a time when I was cool with it. I was serious about promoting myself; my services, availability, image (including full face and frontal), and I was eager to be hired and used. Used, not abused. I am in the business of objectification. It does not bother me in the least to be, within context, sexually objectified. It's rewarding to give pleasure.
In fact, it is arousing, per se; It is arousing to be paid for sex.
And I liked that the client had a great time with me...and felt the experience was worth it, money well spent. I felt proud of garnering repeat clients. I have kept in touch with several over the years even when our association progressed beyond sex.
But having my time frittered away by some pretend client or "#1 fan"? That is something I can not stand. I can't stand to waste time; not with folks I know and even less so with those timid souls who lurk in cyberspace anonymity, desperately resisting to "come clean", "talk turkey", or meet me halfway.
If the mood suddenly strikes you and you want to order me up like pizza home-delivery, satiate your sexual appetite, pay the tab and be done with me. No problemo. But to not pay for the service or, even before reaching that point, expect that I should persuade you to hire me is not okay. It's bullshit. As we Americans say, Time is money and, to use another phrase, Talk is cheap. So if one isn't about giving up the money - because it's degrading - then I'm not about being degraded by giving away my time and body so some manipulative, cheap motherfucker can get his rocks off. Nigga, please. I'm not to be had for the price of a compliment. No free meal here!
wanting to see me naked or wanting me to fuck you is not doing me a favor
I didn't escort because I was so pitifully unqualified to do anything else. Or because I was in search of love or friendship or human touch. The economy was bad and, true, job hirings were scarce so, for me, the curiosity of prostitution became less far-fetched. But the bottom line, though, is I started escorting because people were willing to pay to be with me...and I quickly became less offended by that proposition. Then the Internet became a common medium for doing business; then 'doing business' was downgraded to hook-ups. "sup?" "I luv the way u fuck, Troy!! Can we meat nsa?" "Ur videos (body/dick/sex/ass) are hot. I'm here anytime you want to fuck me." "Wanna play?" "Pls u send me a dick pic?" "Here's my ass, Troy. Call me if ur interested." Wait: me call you? If I'm interested?? And don't get me started on the times I was stood up or sent to the wrong address. Suffice it to say, Internet users and porn fans have turned me off of escorting. After much disappointment & thought I've said to myself, What's in it for me?
Answer: Nothing.
The minutia of two-faced, hypocritical, envious, fake, flaky, double-crossing, obsessed, cloak-and-dagger, painfully mysterious, energy-sapping, time-wasting, unhappy gay(sic), photo hound Internet trolls may be an occupational hazard but it is not one to which I have to shrug and cater. People will treat you the way you allow them to. And Troy, for one, has a life with irretrievable minutes; with interests much, much, much more substantive than being retweeted, 'followed', voted Best Whore, fawned over, promised the moon & stars. I realized this: Individual X has a desire to be with me, not the other way round; has sought me out, not the other way round; knows all of what I look like, not the other way round; and he/she may truly believe that I am nothing more than a sex worker, not.the.other.way.round. To be blunt, wanting to see me naked or wanting me to fuck you is not doing me a favor. But wanting me to be with you for free is doing myself a disfavor! Time is money. Shallow? Not if you live in the real world.I am in the business of objectification. It does not bother me to be, within context, sexually objectified. In fact, it is arousing
I still enjoy providing adult entertainment and working in pornography, but as far as sharing my sex to fulfill the private lust of some faggot joker? That fucking ship has sailed.
